The biggest obstacles aren't legal. They're emotional and informational. Here's how the right professionals can help you find options you didn't know existed.
If you're going through a divorce, you already know there are a hundred decisions to make. But one of the biggest, and usually the most emotional, is what to do with the house.
I recently sat down with Diana Martinez from the Law Offices of Diana Martinez. Diana is a divorce mediator, and we talk a lot about divorce and real estate, so I wanted to bring her in and talk about where things tend to fall apart during mediation, especially when the house is involved.
Where the conflict really comes from. You might assume the conflict is about money. And sometimes it is. But Diana said something that really stuck with me. The two biggest drivers of conflict in real estate divorces are emotion and a lack of accurate information.
The emotional side is exactly what you'd expect. This is the family home. This is where your kids grew up. And it's not just the primary residence. Even vacation homes carry that weight. This is where we took the kids every summer. Those ties are real, and they don't just disappear because a legal process says it's time to make a decision.
Then there's the information problem. A lot of people, and even some attorneys, pull up a Zillow estimate and treat that like the value of the home. But even Zillow itself says its estimates can be off by as much as 10 percent. I've personally seen it be even more.
If you want to understand why accuracy matters so much, I wrote a deeper breakdown on how home value is determined in divorce cases. When one person says the house is worth one number and the other says something completely different, you've got a major obstacle before anyone has even talked about what to do next.
"If those things don't get worked through, you're heading to court, and a judge can force you to sell even if it's not the best thing for your family"
What happens when people get stuck? Diana sees this play out most often toward the end of mediation. The decision has to be made, and you've got one person who wanted to sell last month and the other who can't pull the trigger. Is it fear? An unrealistic expectation about value? An emotional attachment that hasn't been addressed?
If those things don't get worked through, you're heading to court. And a judge can force you to sell the house even if it's not the best thing for your family. Even at a huge loss. Even if it means major capital gains taxes. The judge is applying the law, not designing a solution that fits your life.
Bring in the right professionals. You don't have to think about this in black and white terms. Selling the house or doing a buyout are not your only two options.
Diana's most successful mediations have one thing in common: the couple brought in the right people. A financial professional who can find creative solutions. A divorce real estate expert who can give an accurate market value. A therapist specializing in collaborative divorce can help address emotional barriers.
In her best cases, those creative solutions actually reduced taxes and costs to the point where they more than paid for the divorce process itself. And more importantly, they created something that worked for that specific family.
If you'd like to talk to Diana about mediation, reach her office at 562-367-8001 or email [email protected]. Her team will set you up with a free 15-minute introductory call.
And if you have questions about the real estate side of divorce, reach out to me at 562-316-2915 or [email protected]. You can also visit theelmerteam.com for more resources, including our guide on who pays closing costs and how Prop 19 can help you buy before you sell.
